It seems like you might be minimizing your feelings, if anything.
I need sex and am definitely not asexual, but am very much in love with her.
I enjoy sex a lot, but it usually takes me a while to orgasm, especially with new partners.
Our relationship otherwise is warm, loving, and full of healthy communication, but this topic makes me shut down, and thinking of my husband as the man who sometimes pesters me to go through this kind of pain on his behalf has done a lot of damage to my enjoyment of sex and intimacy in general.
Send your questions for Stoya and Rich to.
We hope you will find here what you have been looking for.
Is one of us being unfair? This is an improvement, even if it comes with its own downsides, like conflating orgasm with enjoyment.
I want to never ever do this again or even hear him ask about it, suggest it, or joke about it.